He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
