Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
did you just send me my own nude
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize