my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
