using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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