It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
