can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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