I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
