I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize