In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize