My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
