the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
