Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
