Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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