Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize