omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you had me at cake vodka
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
