I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize