if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
