What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
