His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Pants are for mortals
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
