I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
