I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize