YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
