trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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