If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
