Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
