PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
