Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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