He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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