Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I supernannyed him into submission
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
