I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
