What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
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Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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