He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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