4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
