i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
