I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize