I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
