If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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