Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
