Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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