Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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