I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century