he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies