it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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