Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared http://tfl.nu/a5x9
  Replies (29) Good night (1043) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see http://tfl.nu/4pqk
  Replies (25) Good night (620) Bad night (2532)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship? http://tfl.nu/nsqw
  Replies (37) Good night (9400) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs http://tfl.nu/nfdh
  Replies (21) Good night (720) Bad night (3085)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin. http://tfl.nu/f5uz
  Replies (45) Good night (805) Bad night (8086)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end. http://tfl.nu/4vu6
  Replies (24) Good night (673) Bad night (3749)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman" http://tfl.nu/zber
  Replies (36) Good night (3743) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out http://tfl.nu/wth6
  Replies (4) Good night (852) Bad night (5385)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend. http://tfl.nu/x4zz
  Replies (14) Good night (6486) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/dgrg
  Replies (16) Good night (1730) Bad night (4336)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language. http://tfl.nu/y11c
  Replies (23) Good night (4520) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night http://tfl.nu/t1ll
  Replies (2) Good night (1504) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits http://tfl.nu/1cr3
  Replies (5) Good night (792) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now. http://tfl.nu/4au1
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it http://tfl.nu/3xki
  Replies (3) Good night (344) Bad night (517)

Randomize