There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked