I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.