Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(856): View more from New Jersey

I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(856): I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more http://tfl.nu/kc45

Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (1814)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7qkz

Replies (21) Good night (651) Bad night (2388)
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know. http://tfl.nu/71w6

Replies (25) Good night (11310) Bad night (733)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change. http://tfl.nu/yfee

Replies (18) Good night (4657) Bad night (791)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come. http://tfl.nu/svxw

Replies (75) Good night (4953) Bad night (731)
Favorite
(208): View more from Idaho

I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(208): I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked. http://tfl.nu/g0yc

Replies (13) Good night (4427) Bad night (911)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live.. http://tfl.nu/uh98

Replies (35) Good night (1659) Bad night (3166)
Favorite
(270): View more from Kentucky

It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(270): It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night http://tfl.nu/y9wt

Replies (19) Good night (3920) Bad night (1189)
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together. http://tfl.nu/95cx

Replies (17) Good night (4953) Bad night (1189)
Favorite
(903): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(903): Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later http://tfl.nu/a1zy

Replies (19) Good night (8552) Bad night (873)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents. http://tfl.nu/eaix

Replies (6) Good night (3023) Bad night (835)
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed. http://tfl.nu/3vnt

Replies (4) Good night (2271) Bad night (942)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies.. http://tfl.nu/ny9r

Replies (2) Good night (1206) Bad night (274)
Favorite
(580): View more from Oklahoma

Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(580): Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass... http://tfl.nu/ix5i

Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (360)
Favorite
(404): View more from Georgia

New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(404): New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold. http://tfl.nu/ite7

Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (234)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: