idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
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My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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