Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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