A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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