After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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