you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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