There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
