you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
