Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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