fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
try to milk me bitch
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