i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
birth control should be required to get into college
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
