would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
