I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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