Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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