Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We left the knife in your bed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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