Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
