Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize