I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
