Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
