Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
