i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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