Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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