***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
